Perspective.

In some ways, this year feels like the year it just won't quit. This has been a really tough year for me.

The latest news is that I got a note in my teacher mailbox on Monday, thanking me for my 'long term substitute' job, letting me know that the position is over at the end of the school year.

The problem is, I was hired as a full-time, permanent member of staff. I have the pay, benefits, etc. of any other full-time teacher. I did not, however, get a contract when I was hired but figured that would come towards the end of the year, same as it did last year in Oklahoma with no problems.

I brought the letter to my department head; she thought it was a mistake and wasn't meant for me.

The principal saw it (it came from the superintendent's office) and said that even if that was the case, because the person I replaced stepped into an 'interim' position and never fully vacated the one I took (?) then it might be for me, but he promised that I definitely had a job there, they absolutely want me back next year, I'd be moving up a step on the teacher pay scale, the whole deal.

Feeling a little better, I tried to go see the superintendent about this situation today only to have a very nasty run-in with his administrative assistant who insisted I was a substitute, even when I showed her the letter of appointment to a 1.0 Social Studies teacher I had received. I need to track down the actual superintendent tomorrow.

Here's the point of the story: I got tricked. I left a situation where I made a little more money because this was a full-time, permanent position. I also turned down 2 long-term sub positions much closer to where I live, working in schools with much more motivated students to take this job. In fact, I would have had my own classroom, laid out sub plans, and be teaching one subject (right now I teach 3) and would not have any alternative ed. classes, which are another layer of difficulty.

I was told one thing, hired, worked my ass off, and abruptly informed that I got screwed. In a way, it doesn't make that much of a difference because all my pay, benefits, etc. are the same either way and I know they truly do want me back next year. However, I don't like being lied to. I don't like being tricked. I don't really want to work for a school system that thinks it's ok to do that. I have been pulled in a million directions, worked with the most difficult students the school had to offer, been paired with a teacher no one else wanted to work with, had to share a classroom so that I NEVER get ONE SECOND alone to just catch my breath, etc. Now, I get a slap in the face for it.

So this is why I'm up at 4:30am. It's just running through my mind.

But then I remembered hearing about this video on a site called SoulPancake that gave me some perspective.