Tuesday, August 24, 2010

VERY excited!

Let me just preface this by saying that this will probably only be exciting to me, however...

I think I have found my gym. And I am so excited! I've tried another place around which was ok and tried P90x (at home workout DVD's) but...I don't know, I just wasn't feeling it I guess. However, today was perfect.

In my freshman year of college I worked out pretty frequently. I was in that gym 5 days a week, about 2 hours a day. (I took weekends off to drink and be hungover and/or lazy.) I have never felt so good in my life and had so much self-confidence. I've spent the last several years wanting to get to that point again. Also, I've noticed a small change this year in my metabolism and in my body. I'm still mid-twenties, but I don't want to get into my 30's and be shocked by my own appearance. I want to take charge and get back to being happy with myself.

There's a good and bad to this "freshman year" goal. The good and bad is that I never weighed myself, I don't know what size I was, and there are no measurements that will let me know when I've actually reached the goal. So really, it's just remembering the way I felt about myself.

There's also something underlying here as well. Disclaimer: this may be TMI. Ok, so I know that I am one of those people that brings their self-consciousness into the bedroom. If I don't feel sexy, I'm just not up to my best, which causes this whole thing of guilt and frustration and my poor husband has to deal with it. I HAVE to change this because, frankly, I want to be at my best and I want to get it back in return. I truly think you get back what you put in, and thinking about my body issues just is not going to work for me anymore.

So, I'm going to the gym to feel good about myself. I am going to splurge a little and buy clothing that fits me well, instead of items that were on the junior's sales rack 3 years ago that just aren't appropriate anymore. I am going to work on remembering how to feel sexy and good about myself.

And I'm very excited about it!

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