Saturday, October 30, 2010

Facebook is Ruining Everything.

I love facebook. I stalk the heck out of people and I have no problem admitting it.

In college, I hated social networking sites. Then as I started traveling and moving around, facebook became the best way to stay connected, share pictures with my family, or hear what was going on in my friends' lives back home. Now I'm addicted.

HOWEVER. I think facebook is a tool of the Devil.

Example #1

There is no such thing as common decency anymore. Seriously, I have seen more body parts of people I went to high school with than I should really have access to without having to pay an online monthly membership fee.

I'm fine with a little flirtation, some sexy messages...that's totally fine. A public love note to your significant other? Great!

But honestly? I don't want to see how you get in on. Yick. I guess I'm just an old-fashioned kind of girl- I appreciate a little mystery.

Almost worse than the amateur porn? When people post about their illnesses/surgeries/bodily functions. I'm not talking about when people ask for support while fighting cancer or anything like that. I'm talking about hourly updates on how they have pea green-colored phlegm they keep hacking up and how sick they feel because they have watery bowel movements.

Ugh, I feel ill just writing that and I would NEVER put that up on public display.

Example #2

In the past year, I have seen a lot of sh*t go down between military wives, FRG leaders, and between military spouses. At the beginning of J's deployment, one milwife wrote something on her status about having a drink with a friend. Immediately the FRG leader, the commander's wife, sent her a message basically telling her it was immature and irresponsible since she had children to be/put up anything about drinking. The milwife fired back, on her STATUS, which is very PUBLIC, a thinly veiled threat (pretty sure the phrase "cut a bitch up" was somewhere in there).

Next thing you know? Her husband is moved to another company and it is assumed he will be demoted.

J just told me about one of the soldiers sending a message to another soldier's wife, telling her that the husband has been fooling around while on deployment. Immediately everyone was called in for a formation where they were screamed at for the whole incident.

(In all honesty, it's like a freakin' telenovela over there.)

Example #3

"Idle hands are the Devil's workshop." -I can spend hours on facebook, almost trance-like, and at the end of it not have any clue how I just spent my time.

Conclusion: Facebook is the sign of the Last Judgement Day, and God will not be friend requesting anybody.


  1. This post made me sad... but I admittedly laughed out loud at least once! It's so true! I have been seriously considering deleting mine recently, but am afraid it'll be the only way to keep in touch with some people when we move again next summer. For now, I'm just friend delete happy.

    Hope you get a thank you card in the mail, ASAP... or two.

  2. Wow. That is a whole bunch of ridiculousness.

  3. I cracked up laughing. Everything you said is so true!!! But honestly, I could not live without fb because it is the way I share pictures and updates with friends from other states. Another thing to add to your list:
    Birthdays. When close friends write on your facebook instead of sending a card or at the very least a phone call! DRIVES ME NUTS!

  4. You my friend, are hilarious. I love you.

    Facebook is good for only one thing.