Outings and Mommy Issues

Yesterday was the All American Beef Battalion Barbecue for J's battalion.

The organization is made up of a bunch of volunteers who are connected to the cattle industry and, out of kindness, put on free cook-outs for soldiers. Isn't that really nice of them? What soldier would say no to free steak?

I usually like going to stuff like this. I like putting faces to the names I hear so often and I get to meet other spouses and play with babies. Everybody always complains about the "mandatory fun days" but I think it's similar to how you b*tch with the people around you during college freshman orientation. Like, "I would like to start talking with the people around me and make friends, but I want to look cool and indifferent, so I'll strike up conversation by complaining." And you know what? It works. Pretty much everyone I saw there complained, and then immediately made plans to hang out that night.

We invited some people over and it was a pretty packed apartment. It was crazy. Plus, it was so hot yesterday (108 F) that the kids were inside the whole time. I love kids so that was fine with me, but one of the parents seemed to really hate them. Like, out of control, constant screaming.

I know this is typical- a married lady without kids commenting on someone else's parenting style. I'm usually pretty laid-back and try to always keep in mind that I don't know everything that goes on behind closed doors, but both J and I were shocked by this one mama. When I say constant, I meant constant screaming. And it wasn't just at her kids. Her husband caught hell, too. I think I heard her say four sentences at a normal decibel range. Not only that, but I could see that her oldest already wants to rebel against her.

I'm not really sure what to do in this kind of situation. I mean, they are her kids. But her screeching was out of control and her husband, seemingly used to this, proceeded to get pretty wasted. (J also tells me he's usually an hour early to work every morning.)

What do you do in this situation? I feel like it's not my place to say anything, but keeping silent and still socializing makes me feel like an accessory to a crime.

Suggestions are appreciated.

Sarah Jessica Parker Makes Me Get Philosophical.

I stayed home from work today due to excessive rage. I wasn't sick, but I was seriously going to kill someone. Most people know me as extremely laid-back and extremely patient, but there are a lot of things going on right now in every aspect of my life that one more thing was going to send me over the edge.

The fact that I live in the same building as my mother makes me turn from "slightly annoyed at several events" to "i'm going to get into the car, slam on the pedal, and recklessly drive until i can't feel feelings anymore", which is a dangerous mental state.

Long story short, I spent the day mostly at home (minus going to fill out auto refinance paperwork, taking the dog to the groomer's and collecting my mother from the state capital, during rush hour, while she bitched that I was 20 minutes late.) I tried to have a relax day, and my boss had lent me Sex and the City 2 a couple days ago.

In the first half of the movie, the women are fabulous, they look great (for their ages...) and everyone is out getting theirs and traveling to exotic locales. Right in the middle, my best friend from college calls and I pause the movie. She lives in Manhattan and I will be visiting her next weekend. She's a single girl, works in PR, and lives the successful, Samantha Jones-type existence. She asks what I want to do and inspired by that quartet of cougars, I respond, "I want to go somewhere I can wear hooker/club shoes but not anywhere that would make my husband uncomfortable."

Then I watched the second half of that movie, when sh*t goes to hell, and that inflated "Let's party!" mood dissipated. And I realize that none of that stuff would actually make me happy. As much as I consider myself totally boring now, being all married-y, I would never trade anything I have with my husband for all the clothes, travel, hair stylists, or nightlife there is. I don't even want him to think that I would want that life over what we have together. I truly, truly love him. He's funny and passionate, honest, impulsive, strong, capable, and sexy as hell. Compared to being with him, those other things just aren't appealing like they used to be.

So do married people still go out? Like, really go out? I don't want to go to a rave, but I'm not talking about an Applebee's.

Is it ok to go out when my husband's deployed?

Facebook is Ruining Everything.

I love facebook. I stalk the heck out of people and I have no problem admitting it.

In college, I hated social networking sites. Then as I started traveling and moving around, facebook became the best way to stay connected, share pictures with my family, or hear what was going on in my friends' lives back home. Now I'm addicted.

HOWEVER. I think facebook is a tool of the Devil.

Example #1

There is no such thing as common decency anymore. Seriously, I have seen more body parts of people I went to high school with than I should really have access to without having to pay an online monthly membership fee.

I'm fine with a little flirtation, some sexy messages...that's totally fine. A public love note to your significant other? Great!

But honestly? I don't want to see how you get in on. Yick. I guess I'm just an old-fashioned kind of girl- I appreciate a little mystery.

Almost worse than the amateur porn? When people post about their illnesses/surgeries/bodily functions. I'm not talking about when people ask for support while fighting cancer or anything like that. I'm talking about hourly updates on how they have pea green-colored phlegm they keep hacking up and how sick they feel because they have watery bowel movements.

Ugh, I feel ill just writing that and I would NEVER put that up on public display.

Example #2

In the past year, I have seen a lot of sh*t go down between military wives, FRG leaders, and between military spouses. At the beginning of J's deployment, one milwife wrote something on her status about having a drink with a friend. Immediately the FRG leader, the commander's wife, sent her a message basically telling her it was immature and irresponsible since she had children to be/put up anything about drinking. The milwife fired back, on her STATUS, which is very PUBLIC, a thinly veiled threat (pretty sure the phrase "cut a bitch up" was somewhere in there).

Next thing you know? Her husband is moved to another company and it is assumed he will be demoted.

J just told me about one of the soldiers sending a message to another soldier's wife, telling her that the husband has been fooling around while on deployment. Immediately everyone was called in for a formation where they were screamed at for the whole incident.

(In all honesty, it's like a freakin' telenovela over there.)

Example #3

"Idle hands are the Devil's workshop." -I can spend hours on facebook, almost trance-like, and at the end of it not have any clue how I just spent my time.

Conclusion: Facebook is the sign of the Last Judgement Day, and God will not be friend requesting anybody.