I stayed home from work today due to excessive rage. I wasn't sick, but I was seriously going to kill someone. Most people know me as extremely laid-back and extremely patient, but there are a lot of things going on right now in every aspect of my life that one more thing was going to send me over the edge.
The fact that I live in the same building as my mother makes me turn from "slightly annoyed at several events" to "i'm going to get into the car, slam on the pedal, and recklessly drive until i can't feel feelings anymore", which is a dangerous mental state.
Long story short, I spent the day mostly at home (minus going to fill out auto refinance paperwork, taking the dog to the groomer's and collecting my mother from the state capital, during rush hour, while she bitched that I was 20 minutes late.) I tried to have a relax day, and my boss had lent me Sex and the City 2 a couple days ago.
In the first half of the movie, the women are fabulous, they look great (for their ages...) and everyone is out getting theirs and traveling to exotic locales. Right in the middle, my best friend from college calls and I pause the movie. She lives in Manhattan and I will be visiting her next weekend. She's a single girl, works in PR, and lives the successful, Samantha Jones-type existence. She asks what I want to do and inspired by that quartet of cougars, I respond, "I want to go somewhere I can wear hooker/club shoes but not anywhere that would make my husband uncomfortable."
Then I watched the second half of that movie, when sh*t goes to hell, and that inflated "Let's party!" mood dissipated. And I realize that none of that stuff would actually make me happy. As much as I consider myself totally boring now, being all married-y, I would never trade anything I have with my husband for all the clothes, travel, hair stylists, or nightlife there is. I don't even want him to think that I would want that life over what we have together. I truly, truly love him. He's funny and passionate, honest, impulsive, strong, capable, and sexy as hell. Compared to being with him, those other things just aren't appealing like they used to be.
So do married people still go out? Like, really go out? I don't want to go to a rave, but I'm not talking about an Applebee's.
Is it ok to go out when my husband's deployed?