This is what happens when I get bored.

So this Oklahoma weather is annoying me. I know that I should have some bigger kind of emotion, like fear or awe or excitement, even- but honestly, it just drives me nuts. It's like, are we going to have a tornado or not? What exactly are we worried about when we get a severe thunderstorm warning? To me, growing up in the north, rain clouds = rain. Done. Snow is a whole other matter, but usually if there's a threat, there's a follow-through, you know what I mean? This kind of weather, where pretty much every day my husband is forcibly dragging me to covered parking so we don't get our cars freaked up by hail, is just frustrating.

The issue here is most likely the fact that, because I'm still job-hunting, the weather really plays a role in my day to day goings-on.

Like today. I was planning on checking out a state park I've never been to, but decided to stick close to home because I don't know how to read these clouds fluently yet. So, went back to the Wildlife Refuge.

First, me and the pup thought to ourselves, should we try to climb Elk Mountain?

We walked for probably 5 minutes uphill before I got nervous about a snake biting my face off (thanks, husband, for freaking me out so solidly) and then I saw a TARANTULA.

@#$@#%@#%! 

We were out.

We decided to play it safe, stay in the car, and drive up Mt. Scott instead.

That was cool and everything, but we were restless. I needed an adrenaline fix.

I've learned a few things about buffalo since moving to Oklahoma; one of the most important things is that a buffalo, who usually keeps his head down to graze, will only look directly at you if he's thinking about flattening you in a stampeding blaze of glory.

I think my dog has post-traumatic stress.

Parade Face

Growing up in a small town, parades were always a pretty big freakin' deal. 

I mean, people would throw candy at you. How is that not better than Halloween, when you had to actually do work to get that kind of treatment? At parades, you could just perch on the grass with your siblings and cousins and elbow a few people in the face and voila! candy.

Parades are magical.

Well, at least they were until my town got all lame and safety-fixated and candy was banned, using the excuse that they didn't want kids playing in traffic. 

Thanks be to Jesus, this is not at all the situation down at beautiful Oklahoma! We went to the Armed Forces Day Parade this weekend.

Not only was there candy, but there were clowns, and armored tanks, kids marching with guns (loaded? not sure what the ROTC does with that issue) and folks popping wheelies on ATV's and whatnot. 

Safety was out; awesome was in!

This is my husband's happy little parade face:

And these are unicycles:

Sweet.

My Oklahoma

Last time we lived in Oklahoma, I was...not always totally enthusiastic about it. 

I've decided to be open to a different kind of pretty than what I grew up with, and honestly?

It can be really, really breathtaking.

We went for a drive down scenic Route 115, and it's stunning.

J got to practice riding his bike and I got to paparazzi the crap out of some cattle.

It was a banner day.

LETRA

My husband's schedule has been FANTASTIC since he came home from deployment! Because his leave won't be for a little bit and most of his unit is gone now, the few remaining basically just show up for PT in the morning and call it a day. Come 10am (after I've been up just long enough to brush my teeth and wash my face) J is home for the day! I'm not working right now since I'm still on the job hunt, so we really just hang out all day, every day. It's awesome.

The other day we had some gorgeous weather and J and I decided to pack up the puppia and head out to LETRA.

 LETRA= Lake Elmer Thomas Recreational Area

It's this park/lake area right on post, which means it's free to get on (have you noticed yet how cheap I am?) and that anything you'd want to rent is there and really inexpensive. Later this summer we're planning on renting a party boat for $35/day and spending a day on the lake with the in-laws- I'm pumped.

So, we walked around for a while exploring.

 

And then Q heard the Sirens' call of Canadian geese.

You know, the first time I realized our 3-legged dog could swim was when he jumped off a 5-foot ledge to go after a duck floating in a creek.

He seriously loves him some fowl.

LETRA

http://www.sillmwr.com/letra.html

Free

Home on the Range

The first time I came out to Oklahoma, I was in shock.

I had always been under the impression that buffalo were extinct. (Yes, I'm aware this is not particularly bright of me.)

To my surprise and childlike delight, buffalo, in fact, not only are NOT extinct, but they run around like they own the place at the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge (which is conveniently located less that a half hour away from where we live!)

(He looks like Where the Wild Things Are.)

This Mother's Day, we decided to celebrate by taking our dog out there to see if he would try to commune with the wild animals. (We enjoy non-related celebratory activities pretty frequently, actually.)

Anyway, to answer the question burning in your mind: Yes. Yes, our little three-legged domestic dog was like King of the Forest and had the cows lowing at him and the buffalo eying our vehicle to weigh whether or not they were willing to attack us. (We took the minivan, knowing that this situation was likely to come up.)

I love the refuge and not just because it's free. It's just so different from where I grew up. J isn't nearly as enthusiastic about it, seeing as he has childhood stories about trying to piss off bison and cow-ownership. I tried to explain- I thought bison were dinosaurs. As in, try to compare this situation to if I took you to a park full of velociraptors. 

You'd be freaking out, too.

Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge

Free

http://www.fws.gov/southwest/refuges/oklahoma/wichitamountains/

I love me some state pah-k.

I found out today that my husband gets weirdly uncomfortable when it comes to the idea of packed lunches.

This morning, when I asked him if he wanted to bring some sandwiches while we went adventuring looking for maybe some trails or swimming or something, he got really weird about it. 

On our two-hour drive (we were in search of Magnetic Hill) he explained that his family always, ALWAYS did packed lunches and it made him feel like a little kid, but not in a good way. (Apparently in a weird way- not totally sure.) 

Either way, we eventually found ourselves spread out on a towel on Sunset Beach at Lake Murray State Park. I was just happy to be out of the car, out in the sunshine, trying to force Q dog to swim by dragging him out by the leash. (Clearly, I am a little kid). Q hopped right into the water, laid down at chest-height, and leisurely drank some of the lake. I looked like a crazy person, out there taking pictures of my dog while everyone else is photographing their kids. 

Eh, whatever.

Unfortunately, J was settling into even more of a funk after looking around. The people there...well, it wasn't really family-friendly, even though it was all families. It looked like an episode of Cops, to be totally honest. Lots of Caucasian men with sunburnt arms and bellies sporting rebel flag and white supremacist tattoos and women in bikinis bearing lots of scarring from C-sections and cigarette burns. I didn't mind- I was totally in adventure mode, but I can understand why J was ready to pack it up early.

Verdict: I'd go again, if I was closer by, but we'll probably stick to the lake around here.

Lake Murray State Park

Free

http://www.travelok.com/listings/view.profile/id.4358

I'm Back! And I saw Mansions!

Originally, I started blogging (on a different blog) because I wanted to share my travel stories with my friends and family at home while I lived in Asia.

I've gotten too far away from that and I want to get back into it. I want to be an Everyday Tourist.

Problem now is, I grew up in this here town, so it takes more effort on my part to really feel foreign-y about it. But I refuse to be discouraged; I will act like a tourist, regardless of how many people know for a fact that I am faking an accent.

TODAY, we went to Newport, RI to see the Newport Mansions! (ooohhh, fancy.) And before you even question it, OF COURSE I pretended to be from some distant country where rolling your R's is par for the course.

Rhode Island is not a state known for being uppity, but by God, Bellevue Ave. in Newport is almost gaudy in how much money those people had. Now it's all run by a preservation society and runs about $14/person to get into each building, but when you realize that actual families once owned them...it's sick.

There are about 11 homes that are kept in pristine condition and open to the public today. Many of the structures were built and owned by the Vanderbilts. According to placards and the free digital tour that's provided, photography is prohibited inside.

Which is where the foreign accent comes in handy; my grasp of the English language was questionable at best.

The tours were fantastic and had some fun little facts. For example, one of the guests who dined at this table said that her parents instructed her to keep her fingers on the edges of her plate as this particular home was known to whisk away dishes almost as soon as they had been laid down.

My favorite room in all three mansions we visited was this music room. My photo is crap, but the room was majestic. The families, for the most part, were trying to re-introduce the Classical Age as well as the styles present during the reign of King Louis XIV-XVI. Everything had such minute detail, I really can't imagine how much work it was to create even one ceiling of one room, never mind an entire "summer cottage", which is what these places are considered.

That's right. This is someone's cottage. And it looks like mother freakin' Versailles Palace.

Newport Mansions

$14/person per mansion

http://www.newportmansions.org/

Culture Shock: Massachusetts

Warning: I will, for the sake of authenticity, have to curse a lot. Heads up.

I was born in raised in Massachusetts, and therefore, I am a masshole.

Massachusetts + asshole+road rage= masshole.

It's all very scientific.

I think Massachusetts is a beautiful state with a lot to offer the curious traveler. Since I had been away for years, I find that I am experiencing some culture shock, and I think a quick sum-up might be beneficial to any adventurous tourist looking to explore New England culture.

1: Language

People in Massachusetts are assholes, plain and simple. We pretty much offend everyone we don't know but it really (for the most part) isn't intentional. It's just how we speak.

For example: (setting: a local bar)

Guy 1: (discussing football) "The Pats (New England Patriots) have gone all to shit since Bledsoe left."

Guy 2: "What the fuck are you talking about, you pansy fuck? Brady carried this goddamn team on his back."

Guy 1: "Brady's a bitch."

Guy 2: "Go fuck yourself!"

Guy 1: "You better sleep with one eye open, motherfucker. Hey! Guy, can I get a goddamn beer? What's it take to get a fucking beer around here?"

Guy 2: "This bartender's fucked."

See? All in good fun.

2: Recreation

In Massachusetts, you are by birth a sports fan. Predominantly, you will be instilled with a pride that verges on insanity regarding the Boston Red Sox and the New England Patriots. Every boy will have his own dark navy Patriots sweatshirt, which he will wear with a crimson Red Sox hat. Girls have a little more flexibility in wardrobe choices (either dark navy or pink, depending on how frilly you decide to be) but will still be expected to have such a wardrobe available for any outdoors event.

(my father and cousin-in-law at a recent, non football-related, party)

Regarding football: You will tailgate or watch the game at home in order to discuss it the next day. Tom Brady, the quarterback, will be your God.

REAL LIFE example: Recently, Justin Bieber put out a rap song on YouTube that briefly mentions the New England footballer.

"Call up Mr. Brady, tell him leave his hair to the guy who sings 'Baby.'"

My cousins, who are in 3rd grade, came home from school the other day telling me and their mother all about how so-and-so told them that Justin Bieber made fun of Brady so now everyone they know in their class hates Justin Bieber, and Mommy, is Justin Bieber going to Hell?

True story.

3. Education

Massachusetts prides itself on being a strong state in terms of education. Children grow up constantly aware that a black mark on a report card could damage their chances of getting into an Ivy League school and that anyone who's anyone goes to college.

Example: Me, helping my 7th graders during Learning Center.

12-year-old: How old are you?

Me: I'm 25.

12-year-old: Then how are you here?

Me: What? What does that even mean?

12-year-old: Well, you graduate high school at 18. Then you go to college for 4 years, so then you'd be like, 23 maybe? And then you have to go for your Master's before you can get a job. How are you working?

I was totally schooled by a preteen and made to feel like a complete jerk because I only just started my Master's.

4. Regionalism

There are two parts to this:

a. Anyone east or south of Boston will say they are from Boston, regardless if it is even close to being true. Often, people from the northern part of Rhode Island will claim to outsiders that they are from Boston. (I have actually caught a few of J's fellow soldiers in this lie, because a practiced ear can totally hear the difference between nasal Rhode Island v. nasal Boston accents in a heartbeat. And yes I called them out. Because I'm from Massachusetts, and that's what we do.)

b. We still f-ing hate the redcoats. Where in the South I have seen that the Civil War is still on people's minds, people in New England hold onto grudges from the Revolution. In fact, I just went (and brought small children-gotta start 'em young) to a Revolutionary War reenactment. Everyone clapped when the British scampered away while the Patriots heralded in victory! This does not mean we dislike people from the UK; just that we really feel strongly about sticking it to King George III. Fuck that guy.

5. Dining

These are lobstahs. You go to the grocery store to the deli section. There, they will have an aquarium full of lobsters so you can choose your own. They bag them up for you, live. My dad used to think it was hilarious to chase me around the kitchen with them while I screamed bloody murder. Tough love, right there.

Exotic Animals Attacked Our Car. (And dog.)

Possible one of the best Easters ever.

J and I figured, since he didn't have to work but we didn't exactly know what to do with ourselves on Easter, then we should go "find an adventure," which we use as our general motto for life.

So, on Sunday, we trekked out to Davis to check out this place we've been wanting to visit called "Arbuckle Wilderness: Oklahoma's Premier Exotic Animal Theme Park".

IT. IS. AWESOME.

Basically, it's like Jurassic Park when they get to drive through the dinosaur park in cars, except replace the dinosaurs with camels.

Example A:

I was talking to J while he was driving, turned back to look out the window, and was face to face with a camel! (J was laughing his fool head off, by the way.) Then, our little dog Q decided to lick our new camel friend in the mouth.

We drove through and saw ostriches, tigers, timber wolves, llamas, zebras, buffalo, rhinos...it just keeps going! It was SO much fun, and, I have to say-well done, Oklahoma!

I never would have expected to feed zebras smack in the middle of the U.S.!

There were only two things that weren't completely picturesque.

1: Poor Q was attacked by emus, which, as it turns out, are incredibly aggressive bird-like things.

2: This llama.

Arbuckle Wilderness

$17/adult ($12 military discount)

3 cups of feed=$5 (worth it)

http://www.arbucklewilderness.com/