This is going to be WAY too much information, so be warned.
I went to the ER last week.
It wasn't anything major. I've had pain in left pelvic area for about a year, off and on. I have diagnosed it to be my ovary. I then diagnosed myself to have ovarian and skin cancer as well as a Fallopian tube pregnancy and STD's. This basically means nothing, since I give myself the same diagnose when I come down with a head cold, but there you go. (It could be residual from my college years, when you went into the clinic with a sprained ankle and they gave you a rape test.)
Anyway, the problem is this: I've had pain in what does actually turn out to be my left ovary and when I'm not on the pill I do not get my period.
J and I have been talking about a family, so this is pretty scary.
I went into the ER because the pain got really bad and by this point I'm kinda freaked out about the whole thing. Long story short, Army hospitals are places unto themselves and, after an ultrasound and the whole bit, they believe I have endometriosis.
I know that this isn't even close to the worst case scenario- a lot of women have this, including my own mother who was clearly able to conceive (although it did take them 5 years and lotsa drugs.)
For the next several months I'm going to track my temperature, since my primary told me that's what any fertility specialist would want see first. Also, since I've basically been on the pill for 12 years, he told me my body will most likely need to readjust and we shouldn't really consider ourselves "infertile" until after a year and a half of trying.
I was totally ok until he threw out the word "infertile" as though it was some everyday word, just as easy as you would say, "Honey, your keys are on the nightstand."
I've found the older I get the more I realize how the world just moves right along, even if things in your own little world might be falling apart a bit.
I don't actually think my walls are crumbling in- in fact, I'm trying to look at this like J would- see an obstacle, find a solution, take action kind of thinking.
We're just another couple, joining the ranks of other couples who find that making a baby is, in fact, as easy as pie.
Because pie is actually not f*cking easy to make and I've never understood that expression.